We know some of you CEOs have been utterly baffled by the results your staff are seeing. 'Terrible boss?' Who, me?? ‘Toxic?’ you cry. 'Cunty??? Impossible! Our corporate culture is a beacon of light and innovation! We play ping pong at lunch! We’re fucking amazing!’
Our PR Intern is stress baking like no one’s business, dealing with all the whiny as fuck emails coming from the fancy offices of perplexed CEOs.
Clearly, the problem isn’t you—it’s everyone else. So at Cuntometer HQ, we’ve decided that some CEOs might need their own very special quiz. Just answer these three quick questions and you'll realise that it is, indeed, everyone else's fault.
Question
Option 1
Option 2
Do you agree that your very presence is an inspiration to your staff?
Yes, I glow with leadership
Absolutely, they should be grateful
How would you describe your company’s culture?
Visionary. Truly groundbreaking
Like a happy family, if your family had KPIs and quarterly targets
Your team isn’t just any old team—they are ...
A group of very lucky bastards basking in my glory
A cult following